Even If The Skies Get Rough
by ohsokookykatie
Summary: Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were best friends, goof balls, boyfriends, sweethearts, and soul mates; completely head over heals for the other. Until others decided to change this perfect little pairing into a crazy whirlwind of a beautiful mess.
1. Chapter 1

_Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were best friends, goof balls, lovers of fashion (well maybe that one was mostly Kurt) Disney movies and bowties. They were boyfriends, sweethearts, and soul mates; completely head over heals for the other…until others decided to change this perfect little pairing into a crazy whirlwind of a beautiful mess._

* * *

><p>"Hey you." Blaine said as he sat next to his love in their English class on a sunny Friday morning, gently kissing his cheek and letting his lips linger for a second or two longer than needed against his beautifully gorgeous, pale, soft skin.<p>

"Hey you, back." Kurt replied giving him a goofy grin.

They counted their lucky starts often that they somehow had another class besides glee club together and that the teacher was crazy enough to place them next to each other in the very back row of the room. They definitely took full advantage of that quite often.

Blaine loved sitting next to Kurt but it was more the reason to not pay attention. Who cares what some book about World War I where everyone dies in the end-depressing! Instead, Blaine would rather stare at Kurt for hours and hours on end.

A piece of paper landed on Kurt's desk when the teacher wasn't looking that read "Hello flawless".

Kurt smiled and wrote back "Look who's talking!"

Oh gosh, don't make me blush…Hey, you wanna ditch glee club today? Head to the park, Lima Bean, or anywhere where we can be alone? -B

As tempting as that sounds…I really want to go to glee club today. I have a song that might work for nationals and Rachel and I have been working on something together. It won't be easy though because my stomach isn't really feeling well and I've got a big history test next period. Sorry Blainey. -K

Alright, You win this time Hummel. I'm sorry about your tummy, I can give you belly rubs later, poor baby. (look at me when you read this so I can give you my puppy eyes) -B

You are the cutest thing ever, Blaine Porter Anderson, I really hope you know that. -K

I learn from the best (dat's you!) Feel better, boo. -B

I'll try. You know, I'm going to ask if I can go to the bathroom, I really don't feel good anymore. -K

Ok babe, feel better. I'll be here, willowing away into nothing without your presence here. -B

Oh me goodness. 'Not romantic' my foot! If I'm not back in 10 minutes, call the police. Love you, boo. -K

And then Kurt was gone, leaving Blaine to actually pay attention in his English class and maybe even learn (shocker!). Blaine kept looking at the door, but Kurt never returned. "Kurt?" Blaine texted him after 12 minutes had passed and he wasn't back yet. There was no response after 5 more minutes and Blaine asked if he could go to the bathroom and surprisingly enough, the teacher let him go. Usually the teacher wouldn't let you go to the bathroom if someone was already out doing the same, but not in this case.

Blaine walked down the hall and around some corners to see if Kurt was at his locker-no, he wasn't there. He walked down another hallway and past a few classrooms towards the nearest bathroom of their English class. He walked up to the door slowly and hesitated to open it when he heard something peculiar. It sounded like heavy breathing and it just didn't sound…right. Blaine opened the door and walked into something that was far more horrid than anything he could imagine: Kurt was kissing David Karofsky…and he was not fighting him off.

* * *

><p>"Hello Kurt." Kurt was caught off guard when he heard a scarily familiar voice coming from behind him as he finished drying his hands and disposed of the damp paper towel in the garbage. He turned around to face the voice-it was Karofsky. Kurt had hated, despised, and utterly loathed him after all of the slushies splashed in his face, the name-calling, being thrown into lockers and dumpsters countless times, and the threats. This man destroyed Kurt in the past and he was always terrified he would do it again and again until Kurt was nothing more.<p>

Kurt gulped and tried to push any nervousness that was bubbling inside of him away and try to come off strong and brave. "Hello David." Kurt walked around him toward the door but he stopped Kurt, placing his hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"Kurt, can we talk?" He said

"About what? And in here, right now?"

"Kurt I love you." Karofsky said bluntly,

"What?" Kurt was shocked yet somehow he felt like that would kind of make sense at the same time.

"I love you." He repeated.

"No, you can't love me. First off-I'm in a relationship. That relationship is with Blaine and that wouldn't have ever happened if you hadn't harassed me last year. Secondly-You have bullied me all throughout these last four years here and threatened to kill me. How on earth can you turn around and say that you love me when all you did last year was make my life a living hell!" Kurt finally finished his little rant and leaned his back against the wall, facing him with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done to you before. You sure as hell didn't deserve it, I just took my anger and frustrations out on you and I hope someday you can forgive me. But that doesn't change anything because I'm in love with you." Karofsky grabbed Kurt's face in his hands and kissed him right when he heard the bathroom door creek open, a few footsteps, then silence.

* * *

><p>Blaine stood there in shock, unable to speak or move or punch Karofsky in the face, because he really wanted to. He kept staring at the two before him; apparently they hadn't noticed Blaine's presence. Kurt pulled apart and met Blaine's wet, broken eyes. "Blaine."<p>

"No." He whispered, but loud enough for the other two to hear. Blaine ran out of the bathroom, down the hall with tears spilling from his eyes. Kurt smacked Karofsky across the face as hard as he could.

"What the hell, Hummel?" He asked annoyed and confused.

"Do you know what you just did? God, I hate you, Karofsky!" And Kurt ran out of the bathroom, down the hall behind Blaine, calling after him, "Blaine! Blaine! Stop! Please stop!"

Blaine reached the exit of the school quicker than he wanted to and stopped with Kurt right on his tails. "So do you really feel sick? Because you didn't seem ill running just now or making out in front of my face with a kid who's been bullying you for years now!" Rage filled Blaine really quick.

"Blaine please, it's not wh-"

"Don't say 'It's not what it looks like'. I saw what I saw and you didn't even push him away! What did I do wrong, Kurt? Did I not come over for dinner enough? Go shopping with you enough? Talk with your parents enough? Support you in everything, like I always have and will do? Did I not love you enough? Tell me what I did wrong that I had to be replaced so quickly."

"Blaine, please, he kissed me. You came the second that it happened and he forced me into it, I-"

"I don't even want to hear it." Blaine interrupted. "I'm done."

"Blaine please. Just let me explain everything. Isn't that what we always do? We talk things out, improve on communication and all that. Blaine, that meant nothing, I promise." Kurt tried to grab onto one of Blaine's hands, but he flinched away, harshly.

"No." Blaine said again and he opened the door, exiting the school, leaving behind a broken Kurt Hummel.

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><p><strong>Quick Author's Note:<strong> Hello to anyone who's reading this. I'm really trying to get back into writing and I thought of doing a story that features all Jason Mraz songs. Still working on it and trying to make longer chapters because a couple pages in Word is nothing on this site. If you have any suggestions or whatever, you know what to do. This story probably won't be too long, we'll see, thanks for reading this, it makes my heart sing


	2. Chapter 2

It started to rain. The rain started out light and mist-like, but soon dark clouds blanketed the sky and thunder violently slapped Kurt back into reality. He watched Blaine run off to his car and drive away what seemed like hours or even days ago. He couldn't even think about moving after everything that had just happened.

He finally made his way to his car, threw his bag to the passenger seat, and started the car. He started making his way home and turned on the radio. He settled on a calm, soft song because the lyrics really spoke to him and fit this situation quite perfectly.

_Calm down, deep breaths_

_And get yourself dressed instead_

_Of running around_

_And pulling on your threads_

_And breaking yourself up_

_If it's a broken part, replace it_

_If it's a broken arm, then brace it_

_If it's a broken heart, then face it_

_And hold your own, know your name_

_And go your own way_

_Hold your own, know your name_

_And go your own way_

_And everything will be fine_

_Hang on, help is on the way_

_And stay strong_

_I'm doing everything_

Kurt was about halfway home when he decided to pull over to the side of the road, car still running, song still playing and cry. Kurt leaned his head down on the steering wheel and sobbed. He was so angry with himself and all he wanted to do was for Blaine to magically appear in the passenger seat and hug and kiss him until Kurt knew he was forgiven. Blaine would tell him that he was beautiful and that he loved him and that on Monday he would kick Karofsky's ass for him, no matter what happened to the both of them because Blaine loved him and Kurt loved him right back if not more…well that _used_ to be the case…not anymore…

_Hold your own, know your name_

_And go your own way_

_Hold your own, know your name_

_And go your own way_

_And everything, everything will be fine_

_Everything_

_Are the details in the fabric_

_Are the things that make you panic_

_Are your thoughts results of static cling?_

_Are the things that make you blow_

_Hell, no reason, go on and scream_

_If you're shocked it's just the fault_

_Of faulty manufacturing._

_Everything will be fine_

_Everything in no time at all_

_Everything_

_Hold your own_

_And know your name_

_And go your own way_

_Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)_

_Are the things that make you panic_

_Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)_

_Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)_

_Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)_

_Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?_

_Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)_

_Hell no reason go on and scream_

_If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)_

_Of faulty manufacturing_

_Everything will be fine_

_Everything in no time at all_

_Hearts will hold_

* * *

><p>Blaine felt like he was going to throw up when he heard the door slam behind him and could feel Kurt's eyes on his back as he ran to his car and drove away from the school. He was so upset, disturbed, and surprised with everything that had just happened. He walked in on Kurt kissing the guy that had been bullying him for a good couple of years now. How did this happen? How long had this been happening? Gosh, Blaine felt so used and completely worthless. He really felt like he was going to throw up now.<p>

He pulled over on the side of the road and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the ground. After there had to have been absolutely nothing left in him for him to up-chuck, he got back into his car and kept driving.

He didn't know where he was going, he just needed to clear his head somehow and forget everything that had just happened. He quickly looked behind him to the back seats of the car to see if his workout bag was there before turning back to the road. There it was, his old Dalton, red and blue striped bag stuffed with running shoes, gym shorts, one of those fancy shirts that soak up sweat-which was good because he sweat at lot more than any normal human being, but it was bad because Kurt got that for him last christmas. Dangit! Kurt!

Blaine was so angry with him and what happened. Or what he had allowed to happen with that vile Karofsky. How could this have happened? Sure, they had fights, but they had a very solid, strong, loving relationship and Kurt just tossed that out the window today.

He went to the gym, and then decided to head to _their_ field. Blaine got out of the car, walked to the middle of the field and screamed. That place was always far from any people or anything, really. He screamed and cried and repeated the process for hours until the sky darkened and Blaine finally decided to go home.

* * *

><p>Kurt went through the weekend without Blaine and it was completely unbearable. No texts, no calls, no nothing from him. Kurt had broken Blaine's and his own heart with one simple act. 'That damn Karofsky' and 'Moron' ran through Kurt's mind day after day. <em>He<em> attacked Kurt with that kiss in the bathroom. He completely sneaked up on him and it only lasted as long as how much Blaine saw and Blaine didn't even want to talk it out. He felt like such an idiot.

By the time Sunday evening rolled around, he had eaten a few crackers and a salad over the course of that weekend. He didn't bother to dress nicely, bathe as often, or even look into the mirror because he hated himself so much for what he had done and the pain he was causing Blaine and himself. Kurt did everything he could to try to get his mind off of things, but everything he tried only lead him back to Blaine and everything that had happened.

He tried music-only Blaine's favorite music or depressing or sappy love songs came up. Movies-everyone seemed to fall in love in the end, so that didn't help. He tried organizing the clothes in his closet and that only reminded him of memories of last summer.

_Kurt had had a bad day, was thrown in another dumpster, yet again, for simply expressing himself through fashion. Blaine knew how to fix this problem by taking Kurt to their place. When they pulled up, reached their spot and set the blanket down, Blaine hugged him from behind and whispered in his ear "No matter what you wear, you're always my stunning little Kurt" tightening his arms around Kurt's waist._

_They settled down on a soft oversized blanket, cuddling and sharing sweet kisses where no one could give disturbed looks, rude comments, or judge them. It was their hide away and safe haven that was nothing but tall grass and the warm summer evening air surrounding them. They sometimes had picnics, Blaine might have brought his guitar and serenated Kurt to his heart's content for as long as he wanted, or they would just come here to get away from the stress and loudness of their lives and lie next to each other and watch the sunset, like today._

"_I love you." Blaine said after looking up at Kurt from where his head rested on Kurt's chest, his arms wrapped around the taller boy's waist loosely. The sun was dancing through Kurt's chestnut hair and hitting his facial features flawlessly, a sight that would forever take Blaine's breath away._

"_I love you more." Kurt truthfully meant it with everything in him. This boy, this man just did things to him that he couldn't describe. Was it the curly hair? The boyish charms? The musical talents he held, especially his voice? His quirkiness and love of everything dorky? Kurt could never put a finger on it, so he went with all of the above. But the one thing that Kurt loved most was that Blaine loved and accepted every flawed, broken, and damaged part of Kurt and no one else had before._

"_You are so beautiful, Kurt. With everything that I am, I meant it." Blaine said, propping his head on his hand, staring at Kurt lovingly._

"_Now how in the world am I supposed to respond to that? Well, there's always…" And Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine again and again, loving him like there was no tomorrow. "You're kinda beautiful too." Kurt said when they pulled apart._

"_Oh, only kinda?" Blaine scoffed jokingly._

"_Oh, good to know someone doesn't have a big ego. You know what I meant, silly." And Kurt leaned in to kiss him again._

Kurt was slowly brought back to reality as the memory drifted further and further away. Everything Kurt tried to distract himself with only made matters worse and Kurt didn't know how much longer he could take it.

He needed to try to talk to him, maybe this time apart would open both of their minds up and work things out. One thing's for sure: they are not going to loose each other.

* * *

><p>'Well if there's one good thing that came out of this, I at least got some good workouts in.' Blaine thought to himself as he returned to his bedroom after his shower. After everything that happened with <em>him<em>-Blaine dared not to even think of his name-he was angry and upset and needed to clear his head. So he went to the gym, boxed, ran a few miles around his neighborhood and the one next to it, and even did a few of those workout dvds on their living room. He did manage to get some anger out, but every time he finished his shower after a workout, he was filled with emptiness and loneliness, a feeling that no matter how hard he tried, he didn't get all of his emotions out.

The one thing he loved more than anything in this world had cheated on him. 'What or who else am I not good enough for?' echoed through Blaine's mind countless times.

He got up from his bed and walked to his full-length mirror. He wasn't the biggest fan of his body, always could do better. He lifted up his shirt to his chest and was a little soft around his tummy and sides.

_Right when school was about to start, Blaine was bored one day and thought maybe he could kill time and finally start working out again. The Warblers were great, but singing and swaying wasn't much of an exercise. He weighed himself on the scale his dad had in his bathroom and wasn't quite pleased with the number that blinked before him. He returned to his room and stood in front of his mirror, took off his shirt and poked around at his slightly squishy stomach and sides._

"_Knock knock." A peppy voice came from behind Blaine's door and came inside his room and shut the door. "And what are we up to today?" Kurt noticing a sad looking yet shirtless Blaine standing before him._

"_Oh nothing." Blaine said, making his way across the room to kiss his new boyfriend hello._

"_Nothing, huh?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Come on Blaine, what's really going on? Something's up and you aren't your normal self, come on, spill." Kurt set down his bag on the floor and grabbed Blaine's hands, leading them to sit on his bed._

"_It's nothing really." Blaine reassured him again but Kurt gave him that look and he just had to get it out of his system and be honest. "Fine. I've never been…content with my body and I want to loose a few pounds at least." He didn't want to meet Kurt's eyes_

_Blaine was taken off guard when Kurt started laughing and looked up. "What?" Blaine asked curiously._

"_That is the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day. Are you serious?"_

"_Do I look like I'm kidding Kurt?"_

"_Blaine please hear me out on this and listen carefully: You are drop-dead gorgeous, beautiful, charming, the definition of handsome and dapper, and amazingly good looking and lovely-inside and out. You and your body are something I love whether you look like this today or you're on that show 'My 600 Pound Life' tomorrow. You are stunning, ravishing, delightful, dare I say my stone cold fox, and I still don't know what I did or how I deserve you, but here we are. I love you for who you are and your body is icing on the cake. Don't abuse your body like I have in the past, you are beautiful and you are worth everything." Kurt kissed Blaine's forehead and lay down on Blaine's bed, patting the empty spot next to him, urging Blaine to join him._

_If there was one thing they always knew about each other was that if either one of them was sad, it was the other's job to hold and cuddle them until they were better. So they lay like that for hours; tangled limbs, forehead kisses, and hushed 'I love yous' and 'I love you toos'._

The memory vanished sharply and Blaine tried to force the memory from his mind. He turned around and carefully inspected his body more carefully. 'Maybe I won't eat dinner tonight.' Blaine thought to himself as he pulled his shirt back down and sat back on his bed, trying to think of something-anything to get his mind off of everything that was bringing him down.

* * *

><p>Monday morning came painfully quick and Kurt was dreading school and facing Blaine in English and Glee Club. To start off the morning on a bad note, there was no coffee in the Hummel-Hudson house, so Kurt drove to The Lima Bean. He pulled into the parking lot and realized Blaine's car was already there. <em>Oh shit.<em>

Kurt walked into the shop and got in line to order. 'Dammit, there is that velvet laugh of his.' Kurt thought, keeping his eyes on his perfectly clean-except for one dang little dirt spot-shoes and the floor. Someone was with Blaine, he was talking to someone who sounded like a good friend, but Kurt was scared to look up. Finally Kurt reached the counter and placed his usual coffee order-thinking back to when, before they were dating, they would come here and that blasted Valentine's day and 'you know my coffee order? Of course I do.' 'UH!' Kurt screamed in his head, trying to get rid of the memories for now.

When Kurt's name was called that his drink was ready, he was forced to look up again and take the drink. He turned around to head towards his car when he saw Blaine and Sebastian at _their_ table and Blaine was kissing Sebastian, on the lips, in front of him.

'Man up, Hummel.' Kurt thought to himself. "Is this some kind of game? Payback? Revenge?" Kurt stormed up to them and they pulled apart when Kurt started talking to them. "Blaine, what you saw the other day, that was-he forced himself on me. I didn't do that on purpose to hurt you. But in front of my face, with someone who we've all hated since he came into the picture? How dare you!" Kurt was debating in his head whether or not to pour his coffee drink on either Blaine or Sebastian like people did in the movies, but he needed his coffee, he just paid for it, and he didn't want to get in trouble or stain the nice carpet. Instead he stormed out of the coffee shop toward his car without making a mess.

"Kurt! Wait!" Was being called from behind him, but he kept walking to his car, trying to dig his keys out of his bag, but he couldn't find them.

"What Blaine?" He gave up looking for his keys and turned around to face Blaine, leaning his back against the car. "Clearly I messed up big time and clearly you have moved on already."

"Kurt, no, that meant nothing. Please hear me out on this." Blaine pleaded, looking back to the door of the coffee shop, hoping Sebastian, the bastard, wouldn't come outside and make matters worse, and he didn't, thankfully.

"You wouldn't let me explain at school, why should I let you explain this now?"

"Because I still love you. That-that-"

"I've clearly lost you, Blaine. I've let you slip right through my fingers." Kurt was really mad at himself when a tear slipped down his cheek. "And now here you are, kissing some other guy, in public, right in front of my face! You didn't even want to kiss me on the steps at school when we were together and I gave you flowers when you got Tony in 'Westside Story'. You freaking patted me on the shoulder like a little kid and that wasn't the only place you didn't want to kiss me in public! But no! Here you are, making out with someone we've all hated, in front of a coffee shot full of people!"

"Kurt please, let me explain!" Blaine said stepping a little closer to Kurt, scared out of his mind that he would rip his arm off or something.

"Did I even mean anything to you?" Kurt asked softly with broken eyes.

"You know I could ask you the same damn question." Blaine said blankly, staring into Kurt's eyes. Silence filled between them.

"Have fun with your coffee date." Kurt said as he finally found his keys, hoped into his car, and drove off crying, leaving behind a teary eyed Blaine.

* * *

><p>Song: Details in the Fabric-Jason Mraz. Italics in this story=song lyrics or flashbacks, just f.y.i.<p>

Yay for flashbacks and yay for you and yay that you're reading this! Yay! Yay! Yay! More to come, I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

School was the most annoying thing imaginable for Kurt and Blaine. English class was horrible because they still sat next to each other and it just felt so out of place not sneaking glances, passing notes or texting, making googely eyes at each other, or any of that. Just sitting there, as far away as possible from each other and pretending the other wasn't there, pretending they weren't broken or hurt by the other, that nothing between them even mattered.

Lunch was almost even worse. Kurt absentmindedly sat with his friends from glee club, but once he reached the table, he knew he would be bombarded with questions of 'why do you look so glum?' and 'where's Blaine?' and 'what happened?' and 'why aren't you eating much?' and he was definitely not in the mood for that. "You know what, I'm just going to sit by myself today, I'm fine, just need some alone time, see you guys later." Kurt said and sat at an empty table across the room.

Blaine grabbed his tray of food and turned to the cafeteria to try to find a place to sit. 'Well there was the glee table,' Blaine thought to himself, 'and that probably wasn't the greatest idea, Kurt wasn't over there, maybe he could-oh, there's Kurt, sitting by himself. Geez, the poor thing, he looks so sad and lonely. There's no way he's eating, pushing around food doesn't fool me. Maybe I could go sit with him? No no no, bad idea. He cheated on me, he owes me an apology first, he doesn't deserve my kindness.'

Everyone in glee club caught on quick that the couple wasn't speaking to each other at lunch and in rehearsal. They sat as far away from each other, once again, and didn't talk to anyone unless someone approached them.

"White boy, why the long face?" Mercedes asked Kurt in the choir room, waiting for Rachel to stop talking to Mr. Shuester about yet another solo she wanted, completely ignoring the plan she and Kurt had already set out for nationsals prior to this week.

"Blaine and I-fights and drama galore." Kurt sniffled, not meeting her eyes.

"Kurt, what happened?" She asked softly, taking her hand in his, trying her best to comfort him.

"Ok, I'll try to keep it short and sweet." Kurt straightened up, took a deep breath and finally looked into her curious eyes. "Friday we were in English and I didn't feel good so I went to the bathroom. I was on my way out and I ran into…Karofsky."

Mercedes gasped and tightened her grip around Kurt's hand, he didn't really care, and he didn't really care for anything anymore. "He said that he was in love with me. I tried to just get out of the bathroom and leave but he wouldn't let me-he wanted to talk and it all happened so fast and-and-"

"It's okay sweetie, you don't need to finish if you don't want to." Mercedes said motherly like. But what would Kurt know about that? He lost his mom almost ten years ago.

"No, I need to get this off my chest, I've told no one of this yet, Blaine won't even give me the chance to explain. Anyways-he kissed me. I tried to fight him off but he's on the football team-you know how strong Shane is-nearly impossible for someone as weak as me to fight off. I really tried my hardest to push him away but he wouldn't budge. Next thing I know, Blaine's standing there with tears rolling down his face and I've never seen anyone so broken in my life. My heart just disintegrated with that one look and he ran out of the bathroom, crying. I slapped Karofsky and ran after Blaine, feeling even worse-plus I already wasn't feeling good on top of this-but he just left school."

"Babe, I'm so sorry, we'll figure this out."

"I'm not finished yet 'Cedes." She rubbed his arm with her free hand and sat there in front of him, giving all of her undivided attention to what Kurt had to say. "I went to the Lima Bean this morning and he was there. I didn't talk to him or anything but I could hear his voice and his laugh-God, I miss that laugh-I heard it across the room and when I got my coffee and turned to leave, I saw him kissing that bastard, Sebastian." Kurt let out the tears he was holding in that whole time and Mercedes engulfed him in a big bear hug, rubbing his back.

"Kurt-I know this seems like your whole world right now and I'm so sorry to hear all of this, but that you're going through all of this, and we will fix it one way or another. Myself or any of us in here can try talking to him and hear his side of the story. You'll get through this, I promise. And it's my job to love and comfort you when crap like this happens." Kurt pulled out of their hug and thanked her once the final bell of the day rung and everyone left.

* * *

><p>Blaine sat there, hating the world, wishing he was anywhere but school. Rachel, Brittany, Artie, and Rory all asked him if he was ok, he replied 'Long story' and they all seemed to walk away. 'Great, you guys are <strong>such <strong>great friends.' Blaine thought to himself as he took a seat on the far side of the choir room, away from everyone else. He heard Kurt crying, talking to Mercedes, but he didn't want to hear any of that, so, since Mr. Shuester didn't care and it was a choir class after all, he put in his headphones and did some homework, trying to block out the world.

He walked out of the choir room the second the final bell rang, went to his locker, grabbed some textbooks that he probably wouldn't do anything with because of everything that was going on, and headed out to his car. He pulled out his keys, hoped in, and started his fairly short drive home. He turned on the radio and a familiar song came on.

_Do you hear me,_

_I'm talking to you_

_Across the water across the deep blue ocean_

_Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying_

_Boy I hear you in my dreams_

_I feel your whisper across the sea_

_I keep you with me in my heart_

_You make it easier when life gets hard_

He didn't recognize it at first and was enjoying it for a while until it reached the chorus and the song became uncomfortably familiar-

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh_

A Jason Mraz song, Colbie Caillat-then it hit him-this was him and Kurt's song when they first started dating almost a year ago.

"_Hey you." Blaine announced as Kurt opened the front door of his house and stepped onto the front porch with Blaine who was presented with a chipper and beaming Kurt._

"_Hey boyfriend." Kurt smiled and Blaine gave him a kiss on the cheek, which caused both of them to giggle like little children, gosh, they were just the cheesiest couple ever. "I'm sorry if/when I call you 'boyfriend', I just can't believe I finally…have one. It's all so new to me, so bare with me on all of this." Kurt said as they started to walk towards Blaine's car, which he always parked on the next street and down aways over so they could talk and hold hands longer._

"_Ok, first off, we're taking this slow and serious and don't worry about any of it. I've only been in one other relationship, as you know, and he didn't even take it that seriously anyways, so this is kind of a first time thing for the both of us-we'll be fine, don't worry. And secondly, you are just the most adorable thing, call be whatever you want, anything that's good, obviously-unless I'm being a total jerk-then in that rare case, proceed. Any pet name, endearment, whatever, I'll let you know if I don't like it."_

"_Alright." Kurt said with a shy smile and red cheeks._

"_Ok, come on, you know you're dying to say it again, spit it out."_

"_Boyfriend!" Kurt giggled, laughed, and sort of skipped-jumped into Blaine's arms as he pulled them into a sweet kiss. _

Blaine pulled up to his house and turned off the car and cried for what seemed like hours. He cried for Kurt, the pain he put him through on Friday and now what Blaine did today **on purpose**. 'God, I'm such an idiot!' Blaine yelled inside his head, he hated himself so much. Kurt had gone through so much in his life already-and now this crap with Sebastian didn't solve anything more. Anger and regret filled Blaine faster than anyone would have wanted and he needed to get his anger out now.

After about 20 minutes or so of solid crying against the hard, cold steering wheel of his car, Blaine wiped away his tears, wishing Kurt was there to do so and comfort him, took a deep breath, and got out of the car. Blaine went inside, up to his bedroom, changed into workout clothes, grabbed some water, music, and went for a run. He did not bother to eat anything the rest of the night, pushing aside the words Kurt had told him months ago that were suddenly always resurfacing in Blaine's mind that Blaine's body was _'impeccably perfect the way it was'_-because it wasn't and it only made Blaine loathe himself more.

* * *

><p>The next few days went by same as Monday did for Kurt and Blaine-uncomfortable, silent, depressing, and all kinds of lonely. Blaine kept up his workout routine and really was set on loosing some weight. After all, he had always hated his body and it seemed like a great distraction, anger release-ment, and something good to focus on.<p>

Kurt however, wasn't quite like that. He never exercised or anything like that. Sure was the school football teams' kicker for a single game two years ago, but that was about it. He just sat around the dinner table with his family and pushed his food around. His dad, stepmom, Carol, and stepbrother, Finn, all noticed he was looking much bonier but didn't say anything. Kurt missed Blaine giving him compliments, compliments about anything-his style, his personality, his body, his hair, his everything. Without them, he felt so empty and that no one cared for him at all…and maybe that was the truth.

Kurt hated feeling so lonely and cried that night when he was trying to fall asleep. He was listening to music when an emotional song began to play.

_Sleeping to dream about you_

_And I'm so damn tired_

_Of having to live without you_

_But I don't mind at all_

_Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired_

_It's just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night_

_Oh just a lullabye to keep from crying myself to sleep_

_Oh just a, just oh, just a little lullabye,_

_Once I dry these eyes and come on_

_Sleeping to dream about you_

_And I'm so damn tired_

_Of having to live without you_

_But I don't mind_

_Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired, I'm so tired_

Kurt hated that he was still upset about all of this, but he felt like the only thing that he could connect with anymore were the tears that weirdly soothed him to sleep.

* * *

><p>The next day, Thursday, Blaine was wandering around after glee club, heading home, and heard someone singing in the auditorium. He was curious and walked closer towards the voice and entered the back of the school's theatre. The voice sounded like he was in a dream. It took him back to great memories of being happy and comfortable with everything around him, despite how horribly he'd been treated in his past. Blaine closed his eyes as he heard voice become louder with the song and the voice became more and more familiar-Kurt.<p>

_You've got the best of both worlds_

_You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,_

_And lift him back up again_

_You are strong but you're needy,_

_Humble but you're greedy_

_And based on your body language,_

_And shoddy cursive I've been reading_

_Your style is quite selective,_

_though your mind is rather reckless_

_Well I guess it just suggests_

_that this is just what happiness is_

_Hey, what a beautiful mess this is_

_It's like picking up trash in dresses_

'Man, Kurt did love his Jason Mraz' Blaine thought to himself as he hid in the back of the auditorium, watching the beautifully broken man singing, sitting indian style in the middle of the empty stage.

_Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write_

_Kind of turn themselves into knives_

_And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction_

_But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear_

_'Cause here we are, here we are_

_Although you were biased I love your advice_

_Your comebacks ‒ they're quick_

_And probably have to do with your insecurities_

_There's no shame in being crazy,_

_Depending on how you take these_

_Words that paraphrasing this relationship we're staging_

A tear fell down Kurt's cheek and then three or four fell afterwards. He had no idea how broken he had become after everything that had happened, but he continued singing.

_And what a beautiful mess, yes it is_

_It's like picking up trash in dresses_

_Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say_

_Kind of turn themselves into blades_

_And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard_

_But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt_

_'Cause here, here we are, here we are_

_Here we are, here we are, here we are, here we are _

_We're still here_

_What a beautiful mess this is_

_It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"_

_Through timeless words and priceless pictures_

_We'll fly like birds not of this earth_

_And tides they turn and hearts disfigure_

_But that's no concern when we're wounded together_

_And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts_

_But it's nice today. Oh, the wait was so worth it._

Kurt's face became more tear-stained than Blaine had noticed. Blaine couldn't handle this anymore and needed to leave the theatre before Kurt knew he was there. Blaine needed to fix this-this drama, this crap that was driving him insane and he needed to man up and win his man back.

"Blaine." He barely heard Kurt whisper softly.

'Damnit!' Blaine yelled in his head and immediately figured he had been caught. Blaine slowly turned around and was hit with relief when he saw Kurt's eyes closed, still sitting where he was on that stage, as beautiful and perfect as ever. Blaine hid behind another chair again and listened to the broken man speak again.

"I'm so sorry and I'm terrified that I've lost you forever. My life is far from 'a beautiful mess'. Yes, it's a mess, but it's far far far from beautiful. It's a lonely, horrible, unbearable mess and without you in it is completely pointless. I hope in time you can forgive me. I miss you. I love you." More tears fell down his face as he finished-still not knowing Blaine was there at all.

Blaine was so tempted to reveal himself to Kurt and run into his arms and kiss him forever and ever and ever; tell him everything's ok and that he loves him, loves him more than anything. He knew Kurt always wanted to be held when he was sad and Blaine knew he needed that comfort right now. Forgive, forget, and start loving each other again-wait, did Blaine still love him after everything? 'I'll always care for Kurt, whether we're together, in a relationship or not.' Blaine thought to himself, checking again that Kurt hadn't spotted him yet.

But he didn't do run up to Kurt or say anything to him, or kiss him like he was just dying to do. Blaine left the auditorium and went home; he wasn't ready to talk yet and needed to process this entire thing, alone...or just cry and cry into his pillow first.


	4. Chapter 4

The next Friday, 2 weeks after everything that had happened, Blaine walked into the choir room with one mission and one mission only-to at least talk things out with Kurt if not win him back. He had stayed up way too late last night learning a new song that he knew Kurt would love it-not so sure if he would love Blaine again-but the song had to make a dent somehow, or at least Blaine hoped it would.

"Alright guys, with nationals coming up, we've got to get our set lists figured out. Any suggestions?" As he turned around to face the class after writing 'NATIONALS' in big letters on the white board in the front of the classroom, like he seemed to do every single damn day.

Blaine raised his hand with hesitation as chatter, mostly from Rachel about her already chosen song selections, quickly rose throughout the room. "Yes Blaine? What are your thoughts-oh that's right, almost forgot! Everyone, settle down, Blaine's going to sing something for us, so Blaine-take it away."

Blaine got up and grabbed his guitar that he brought with him earlier this morning and Blaine grabbed a spare chair with his other hand and sat it directly in front of Kurt. A shocked expression spread across his face quickly, trying to avoid Blaine's eyes, but that didn't stop Blaine from doing this. He needed Kurt more than anything and needed to let him know, right now.

Blaine took Kurt's hands in his despite the guitar in his lap and looked deeply into Kurt's eyes and said, "If anything, just please listen to every lyric of this song, please, it's all true. I know we have a lot to talk through, but just listen to this song open-mindedly." And with that, Blaine let go of Kurt's hands; everyone in the room was staring, but they all started to fade away once Blaine started strumming and singing, it was just the two of them.

_When I look into your eyes_

_It's like watching the night sky_

_Or a beautiful sunrise_

_There's so much they hold_

_And just like them old stars_

_I see that you've come so far_

_To be right where you are_

_How old is your soul?_

Blaine looked directly at Kurt with all he had, making sure he heard the lyrics and wasn't just ignoring him, especially right now. And he wasn't, Kurt was listening intently despite the whole room full of people were staring at them.

_I won't give up on us_

_Even if the skies get rough_

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up_

_And when you're needing your space_

_To do some navigating_

_I'll be here patiently waiting_

_To see what you find_

_'Cause even the stars they burn_

_Some even fall to the earth_

_We've got a lot to learn_

_God knows we're worth it_

_No, I won't give up_

Blaine was reaching the faster part of the song and hoped he didn't mess up-this needed to be absolutely perfect for Kurt.

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_

_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_

_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use_

_The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake_

_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend_

_For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn_

_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in_

_I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not_

_And who I am_

_I won't give up on us_

_Even if the skies get rough_

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up_

_Still looking up._

_I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)_

_God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)_

_We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)_

_God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)_

_I won't give up on us_

_Even if the skies get rough_

Blaine put as much emphasis on that lyric as he could because it fit so perfectly with everything.

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up_

Kurt and Blaine both looked up at each other with that last line in unison and a tear slid down both of their cheeks and the joined hands once Blaine set down the guitar. It was just them, nothing else in the world. "We can fix this." Kurt said, thinking he said that in his head and not out loud, but too late.

The couple were sucked back into reality and quickly felt embarrassed when he room burst into applause and cheers from everyone-even Santana, she was linked pinkie fingers with Brittany. Even Rachel who was a little uneasy that the spotlight wasn't on here right now, but that was ok because she was holding hands with Quinn. Tina and Mike shared a quick kiss and Mercedes and Sam and Rory and Sugar did the very same. Everyone just was in awe this whole thing Blaine just did-just for Kurt. "Great job, Blaine, that was wonderful." Mr. Shuester said as the applause and the love fest died down.

"Hey Shu," Mercedes piped in, "I think you need to let these boys go early. There's a lot that needs to be sorted out and I can fill them in on what they miss." Everyone once again returned his or her attention to Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt and Blaine made eye contact with Mr. Shuester and he said, "Go ahead boys, Blaine talked to me earlier and it's fine, we'll see ya tomorrow."

"Thank you, I owe you." Kurt whispered to Mercedes as he stood up, grabbing for his bag, but Blaine took it, carrying his guitar case in the other hand.

"No problem, go have fun with your boo." And they left. Kurt went to his locker with Blaine, took his bag back from him and put some things away. Blaine insisted that he carried Kurt's bag-so Kurt caved and said all right to his wish. He turned to him after he shut the locker door.

"You still have that picture of me from last year in you locker?" Blaine asked as he leaned against the row of lockers, staring back at Kurt.

"Oh, yeah, that. I thought of taking it down, but it didn't feel right, I don't know…" He trailed off.

"Well where do you want to go now? There's the Lima Bean, the car, anywhere you want to go is fine with me."

"How about I drive and we'll come back for my car, later." Blaine agreed and they headed down the hall, towards the parking lot.

Kurt and Blaine automatically reached for the other's hand but then stopped when their hands touched. They looked at each other, not sure what to do. "Sorry," they both said in unison.

"I guess this is the first time I've walked down these halls with you and not held your hand." Blaine blankly stated.

"Yeah, we did always seem to read each other's minds." Kurt said as they reached the door that lead out to the parking lot. Blaine opened the door for Kurt and they walked to Kurt's car.

They drove without speaking but listened to the radio. A song about some days tasting like lemonade and some days feeling like razorblades, talking about floating away, it was pretty accurate, actually, that's all Kurt wanted to do-float away from all of this crap going on in his life. They both groaned when Adele's Someone Like You can on the radio. They both reached to turn off the radio and their hands met again. "Sorry," Kurt said as he pulled his hand away from Blaine's, "that song is just way too overplayed."

"I couldn't agree more." Blaine said. "Well, here we are." He turned off the car and grabbed a blanket that was in the back seat. He knew he wanted to talk to Kurt here so he kept the blanket there for whenever the time came. Blaine wanted to take them somewhere alone where no one could judge them, bother them, ect. He drove them to a place he had visited recently with everything that had happened. It was a beautiful little field with trees all around. Little daisies and dandelions were sporadically placed throughout the tall green grass. Blaine grabbed his guitar and walked with Kurt to the middle of the field and placed the blanket on the ground as they sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"Just like, before, please listen to every lyric." Blaine said, resting a hand on Kurt's knee, making eye contact.

"Ok." And then Blaine began singing.

_Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out_

_Something gave it away_

_And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face_

_To know that I know that you know now_

_And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking_

_You know nothing_

_Well you and I, why we go carrying on for hours on end_

_We get along much better than you and your boyfriend_

_Well, all I really want to do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me_

_Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you_

_Before I rightly explode_

Blaine dared not to look up at Kurt and his lips with that last lyric, but he couldn't help it, it was 100 percent true. He missed him in everyway, with everything; he just hoped Kurt felt somewhat the same way.

_And this double life I lead isn't healthy for me in fact it makes me nervous_

_If I get caught I could be risking it all_

_Well, baby there's a lot that I miss in case I'm wrong_

_All I really want to do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me_

_If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand_

_Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man_

_But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again_

_Well, all I really want to do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me_

_I think it might kill me_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_It's a feeling inside that keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me_

_It might kill me_

Kurt leaned forward quickly, maybe a little too quickly, because he was soon dizzy when his lips met Blaine's in a needy, desperate kiss that they both wanted. It only lasted a few seconds because Kurt pulled back when he realized what he did.

"I'm sorry-that was too much, I'm sorry." Kurt sat back where he was before and blushed, looking at the ground.

"Hey," Blaine reached a finger under Kurt's chin, making him look into his eyes, "we're teenagers, we have urges and do things we can't explain, don't worry about it. And I am glad you did because if you didn't, I would have and I didn't want to come off too forceful with this."

"Ok."

"So where to begin?"

"I'll go. That Friday, I truly felt sick and needed to go to the bathroom. I was on my way out, back to class when Karofsky walked in. He told me he loved me and then he shoved me up against that wall and forced me into that kiss the second you walked in. I tried to push him off, he was too strong and you have no idea how badly you broke my heart with that look on your face when everything happened. If I didn't feel like I had to throw up earlier-I sure as hell did right there, still don't know how I didn't, actually. I slapped him when you ran off and then went after you. If anything Blaine, none of that meant anything-I swear. You had every right to be mad at me and I'll never hurt you like that again. But ever since that moment on that staircase at Dalton, you've captured my heart, completely. You are the definition of my world and I hate that this happened because of me."

"First of all, it wasn't because of you, it was because of Karosfky. Secondly, I'm sorry for what I did with Sebastian. He saw I was upset with you, he assumed we had completely broken up, and took huge advantage of that, obviously. He wanted to mess with you and I shouldn't have gone along with it. I was angry, upset, everything and you didn't deserve that."

"Thank you. Well, guess we both screwed up, huh? Guess we have two people's asses to kick on Monday."

"Yeah, oh that'll be fun." Blaine said with a small chuckle.

"So where does that leave us?"

"You didn't feel anything when Karofsky kissed you and I sure as hell didn't feel anything with sleaze-bag-Sebastian, so want to just go back to normal life being boyfriends?"

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say those words." Kurt leaned in again to kiss Blaine and this time it felt so right. They stayed out in that field for hours, making up for the few weeks that they had spent apart, kissing and cuddling the hours away.

* * *

><p>The end. Thanks for reading<p> 


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